No More “More” WASTE MANAGEMENT

Three things to stop saying this week

For starters, I’m not saying less Waste Management. This is one of the funnest weeks of the year, and I’m here for it; in cold-ass Salem, Mass wishing I was there for it. However, I’m over the talk already. The annual People’s Open hits the links at TPC Scottsdale, and the chatter begins:

Thing One: “Why can’t the Tour bring this vibe to more events?”

Thing Two: “If golf was like this all the time, I’d watch more.”

Thing Three: “Remember when Tiger made that hole in one?”

Thing One

Listen, the Thunderbirds have done God’s work in taking a PGA Tour event, breaking the stuffy, boring stigma of golf tournaments, and injecting a party into the schedule. It took time, and we now have The Greatest Show on Grass. But you can’t run a year of this. Twenty-some-odd Waste Management Opens in a year? No way. People would burn-out, I’m not sure Michelob Ultra could keep up the production to meet demand, and the poor poor livers of those spectators. Then there’s the whole scarcity principle.

Thing Two

This is more of a continuation from point one and scarcity, but would you really watch more? After the initial transition subsides, are you really adjusting to see this sport week after week just because of some flashy lights and beer? No, you’re not. You’ll watch for a few weeks and then go back to whatever else you did every other year after February. Then, golf nerds and die-hards are left with a ghost of the Tour we used to know. This is golf’s party, and everyone is welcome. Just shush on changing all of golf into this party.

Final Thing

I’d be shocked to find someone even with a tangential relationship to golf who hasn’t seen the clip of Tiger’s hole in one. They may not know the year, yardage and context (1997, 9 iron from 170ish, and el Tigre is fresh on the scene), but it was a pivotal moment in golf. That’s when the quiet party in the desert exploded onto the world stage. It’s unique and iconic and by simply putting a party around every par 3, you won’t recreate it. It’s not a reason to bring this environment to other tournaments but more supportive of protecting its current place on the Tour’s schedule.

This argument goes back to childhood:

“I wish everyday was my birthday”

“I wish everyday was Christmas”

“I wish every subject was recess”

But you’re an adult now, and you know the answers. Just stop asking the questions. It’s annoying. Go enjoy yourself this week, and get off my lawn.