Hollywood vs Who Dey — Super Bowl LVI

I’m just here for the food and commercials

Eventually, I’m gonna get the ear of someone who can affect change, and we’re getting the Super Bowl moved. Fact check me. A Saturday Super Bowl makes more sense and would be a win on all fronts. But that’s a battle for another day.

Today, we got what we got, and what we got is the fresh face of football versus the “old” gunslinger. It’s Hollywood versus Who Dey, but regardless of who’s in the game, there are Three Things that can make or break your Super Bowl experience.

Thing One — Food Duh

First things first, know thyself. If you’re a chef and wanna get busy, go forth. If you’re a weekend bbq enthusiast, and this is literally your Super Bowl, get after it. If you’re more likely to offend than appetize anytime you work in the kitchen, shelve your pride and order takeout.

Some say certain foods are Super Bowl staples, but quite honestly, anything goes as long as it’s quality and presented well. I’ve seen sushi stations, pizza buffets, and fondue all work for football parties. Your guests don’t care where it came from, they just don’t want to go hungry or try your latest culinary experiment. Know what you know. Know what you don’t. Order in for the rest.

Thing Two — Side Action

You’ve invited people to your house for one of the biggest gambling days of the year. You don’t have to know spreads or over/unders to offer a little something for the bettors in the crowd. It’s also likely the one and only time outside of a March Madness pool that some people bet, so there’s that too.

Super Bowl squares, prop bets, or any amalgamation of games will work. Just make sure it’s organized, simple, and money is collected before kickoff (or the coin toss if that’s a prop bet).

What happens when I don’t listen to the rules

Thing Three — Small Talk

It’s awful. This isn’t unique to the Super Bowl but rather an omnipresent annoyance magnified on this day. There’s really nothing you can do to avoid this if you venture out. I suggest having a few canned responses to your most hated questions/topics and moderate your drinking. Commercials are an easy thing to lean on, and when in doubt, just claim you’re a Browns fan. People will leave you alone out of sympathy.

If you’re the small talker who’s studying everything for tonight’s party so you can corner as many people as possible, just remember the law of large numbers suggests you’re going to hit some introverts and anti-talkers. Read the room and adjust your small-talk accordingly.

To those imbibing tonight, be careful and smart. Hopefully you already put your time-off request in for tomorrow, and you’re not calling in “sick”. Take care of your business like an adult. Either own the hangover ahead of time and use your PTO or show up and perform.

If you’re gonna be stupid, you gotta be tough.

#YOLO

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Bud Copeland

Bud Copeland

I know what I know, and I know what I don’t. I think.